The sources and nature of suffering - and the CBT treatment for suffering

Why do some of us feel bad some of the time?

The question is not about the experiences we all go through inevitably occasionally, in our life, of sorrow and grief of death, loss of loved ones, aging, and disease.

Pain and sadness of this kind, are unavoidable and inseparable from the experience of life on this earth: we are made of matter – and so are our loved ones

Matter always disintegrates, and leaves this world. It is unavoidable that we and our loved ones will grow old, get sick, and will eventually die.

Same applies to everything we acquire and own: assets, resources and possessing – they all come to us – make us happy for a while – and then leave us and leave us disappointed (disenfranchised?)

The suffering – on the other hand – is not inevitable!

Its origin and nature are the result of our refusal to surrender and fully accept certain aspects of our reality – which we find undesirable.

Resistance against certain facts of life – arguing with them – fighting with reality and constant complaining on the fact that reality is the way it is, and not the way we wished that it would be.

The pain we experience then in this battle with our life is intensified by our mental habit to take matters "personally", and view our achievements and failures as the testimonial and measurement of our value as human beings.

In other words:

Most of our suffering in life is not the result of the facts of our life or of the "cards life had allotted" to us – but rather the result of our interpretation of these facts.

And more specifically, thoughts that whatever it is that happens to us in life triggers about: what these events in our life say about us? About our self-worth? What do they say about the world and about what we might expect to happen to us in it in the future?

It might sound like ridiculous and a bit insane…. but it is true!

It stems from a deep pattern of our mind – created in order to serve us for our survival – by making us focus on what is missing in our life, and what we should thrive to achieve for our safe existence – but this pattern harms us emotionally when it is used for the purpose it was not meant for.

When this happens, this pattern that can promote life and contribute to it, becomes instead an obstacle and an hindrance to our well being.

CBT treatment for suffering (originating in Buddhism)

The most profound insight of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) originating in Buddhism is that " These are not the events that disturb us (making us sad, angry, or anxious) – but rather our thoughts about these events.

Things by themselves are neutral – they are as they are – not good or bad – but our thinking labels them as good or bad – having difficulty to accept them – and generates in us pain because they are not what they are not.

The moment we "get it", and realize that our cognition/ our way to view reality is the source of most of our bad moods and feelings about our life – a new way opens up for us to greatly improve our life experience

When we start viewing our suffering and pain, as something which we are generating ourselves and not the World outside us - it starts diminishing right away.

Simple Recipe for Overcoming Suffering (Eckhart Tolle)

CBT treatment with elements from Buddhism